Help me!!

Well hello, I hope you haven’t forgotten who I am J Sorry for the lack of posts, AGAIN. The last week has been so hectic with work and play!

So let’s dive straight into it, shall we?

Weight, stones, pounds, kilograms, it’s all the same, but can really effect how we feel about ourselves.

I have never been happy with my weight, like most women, I feel like I need to lose the extra ten pounds to feel good about myself.

In steps Weight Watchers. I did this last January with my sister and my mam. I lost 10 pounds over about 3 months. I just couldn’t adjust to it thought. I hated feeling guilty when I wanted to have an ice-cream or have a dairy milk on the days I felt like utter crap. I couldn’t keep the weight off at all. I’d lose 4 pounds one week and put 5 on in the next, it was counteractive. I am no way dissing Weight Watchers, I actually think it’s the most effective way of making a life style change, and it’s worked for so many people. It just wasn’t for me.

So from that time, I started to gain weight, eating crap and not caring about it. My sister got engaged in April, and had set a date for the wedding to be in July 2012, grand, I’d over a year to lose the weight I’d put on. Until she decided to bring the wedding forward to 5^th April 2012. That was even less time for me to prepare!

So I tried to get my fat ass in gear. I signed up to do a 10km walk in Galway Bay back in October. To prepare for that I Was doing the 30 day Shred by Jillian Micheals. This was going extremely well, I felt like I was getting a good workout and I genuinely felt like I was toning up, even the boyf saw a difference in me.

Then after the 10km was over, I slacked back into doing absolutely f* all.  The month of October was awful; I was eating take-aways 3+ times a week, then eating crap the rest of the say. I felt myself get bigger.

In steps my fitness freak brother. He’s tried his hardest to be healthy; he does a good bit of jogging and takes a kickboxing class 3 times a week. About 3-4 years ago, he weighed almost 16 stone. He was huge, no way around it, he was just fat. He lost all the weight from kickboxing and trying to eat healthy, and now weighs a measly 11 stone (ish).

He was surfing the internet and came across Herbalife, a company who try to encourage healthy eating. We decided to do it as a family. Myself, my mam, my dad and my brother all went to the class. Week one was all about trying to up protein. We all got weighed, took out measurements and our BMI, metabolic age, body water, muscle mass, visceral fat rating and resting metabolic rate. They focus on losing CM rather than weight, as you build muscle, you will gain weight.

We all got an hour with the nutritionist to go over our meals and where we were going wrong. It was really a smack in the face when she asked me, when was I my happiest with my weight. I couldn’t remember a time I was truly happy with my weight. So I just said when I was 8’7 in 2009. Since then I’ve gain 1’9. She put it into prospective; if I did nothing for another 2 years I’d be 11’11. It’s a vicious line that wouldn’t stop unless I took control.

I have a horrible self-image of myself; I have very little self-confidence about my body. I know that’s not a good thing, and some people who are bigger than me wouldn’t mind being my size, but I was never happy with the way I looked. My low self-esteem has gotten to a stage where I don’t like to look at myself in the mirror and when my boyfriend is sleeping beside me, I hate when he’d put his arms around my stomach. I know he loves me the way I am. He does try his hardest to make me feel better about myself, but only my own opinion matters to me about how I feel.

Only I can change what I’ve done to myself. The journey starts here.

I was reading  post Cornflakegirl's blog about weight loss and I realise we are all in the same boat.

Hope you all can be the little trigger to help me get into gear and shift the pounds.

Might set up a twitter account so anyone who wants to get on the band wagon has some motivation with losing weight.

LauraLou

xx